Last night, chatting with the Divine Ms. J, she mentioned that she planned to go backpacking through Europe with friends next spring. “They’re good at it,” she said, “they have all the necessary camping gear, and everything.”

I know that this is supposed to be a romantic thing – backpacking through the woods, hiking around foreign countries, meeting people and staying in hostels, but the thing is, to me it sounds utterly awful. Give me a hot shower and a tour bus with a bathroom. Give me indoor plumbing and soft cotton sheets.

Don’t get me wrong. I like nature – I do. I prefer it to be aquatic, however, not woodsy. Also, I have no desire to sleep with it. I’ve often said that my idea of roughing it is a hotel without room service. And I repeated this to Julia during our conversation.

She laughed, and said she liked to try new things.

So do I, actually.
I just prefer them to end after dinner, and include indoor sleeping accommodations. And free wifi.

Still, I have to admit, I like camping stores. I like the smell of leather boots and suede jackets, and I think hunters’ caps are hot on the right guy. (So is flannel, if it’s woodsman flannel, and not unwashed geek flannel.)

It’s just…if I want to sleep in a tent, it will be the kind that is built from pillows and blankets and is located on the living room floor.