My week-old spiffy computer went *poof* last night, for no apparent reason, though I suspect it's a heat issue. The high-end P4's run /really/ hot – even with five fans in the case this one was idling at 116F last time I managed to run the probe-software. Intel says that's well within the normal range, but, still…

So, I finally gave up on it, and was resolved to giving up my day off so I could go to the office and post rates, at least. I promised to do that while the boss is in the Bahamas for the next ten days, and it's something I can do remotely. But the email with the passwords was on the machine that was refusing to boot.

Then, about an hour ago, I woke up because I couldn't breathe, and the dog wanted to go out. So, I thought, “Let's take it apart and see what happens.”

I reseated everything I could easily reach, and removed a sound-cable I didn't need, and then managed to get it to boot into windows. I forwarded the mail to this system, my laptop, and then turned it off. Right now, it's sitting on the floor of the computer room, with the sides of the case still off. The dogs have been locked out of that room, of course. And I'm sitting here trying to decide if I /dare/ put the case back together.

In other news, I have the sweetest, most wonderful assistant in the whole world. brought the most amazing array of flora into the office – calla lilies, an orange lily, iris, purple tulips – AND topped that off with Purple Cream Oreos, which are not being opened until Monday. No, really, they're not.

I'd have left the flowers at the office, but since I'm taking today off (as is said assistant), there seemed to be no point So I've split them into vases, and I have a house full of flowers. Which is good, because I've felt so blechy all week that I haven't made my own trip to Bunches.

And the inner debate of the moment is: Should I go back to bed, or make coffee and read.

I Never Could Get the Hang of Thursdays

When my husband's alarm clock went off at 3:30 this morning, set so early because he had a plane to catch, I still hadn't managed to fall asleep. I was still a bit druggy and spacey from all the cold meds, and feeling pathetic because I was supposed to catch a plane of my own tomorrow, and spend the weekend with him, and now I can't, and when I don't feel well I hate being alone. Between the coughing and the illness-induced clinginess, I was literally in tears when he kissed me goodbye.

I got up, wandered around the darkened house, watched Cleo run across the yard to chase the shadow of a neighborhood cat, did an online grocery order to be delivered tomorrow, because I really am not in the mood to face the grocery store, and finally went back to bed, to a fitful sleep. I've never slept alone in this house, and after five months I'm still becoming accustomed to the noise. I tossed, I turned, I made Cleo move to Fuzzy's half of the bed, because there was space, and finally, two minutes before my own alarm was due to go off, I woke up.

It is impossible to pathetically miss someone when the first thing you see in the morning is a jumbled up pile of their dirty laundry, left in a corner of the bedroom floor.

I called my parents hoping for a comforting chat with my mother, but she had actually left the house before eight AM her own time for a conference call at her office, so I ended up getting a rare treat – a conference call with my step-father. Someday I might go into the true oddness of my relationship with him, or I might not.

I wandered around my house a bit more, let the dogs out, took their food out to defrost, watered the front garden – my daffodils are blooming, and it makes me feel like my family is surrounding me, because my mother planted them all for me, the last time she was here, and I mixed my grandparents' ashes into the soil.

And now, I'm off to work.
For the last day of my week.

Double Your DVD Collection in One Trip!

Well, maybe not /double/, but if you live or work anywhere near a Wherehouse, you might want to see if they're one of the stores being closed as of April 1. The one in my neighborhood (Stevens Creek and Winchester, near Good Guys) is one such store, and right now all DVD's are 20% off, and CD's are 10% off.

The guy at the register mentioned they'll be going even lower, possibly as soon as this weekend.

Tonight, we purchased:
The X Files: Fight the Future
X-Men (ver. 1.5)
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
Men in Black II
Empire Records

Certain people I work with might want to note that they have a whole wall of Disney stuff.

Sick. Blech.

I've been fighting a sinus infection since I got home from France, and finally lost the battle while helping Fuzzy with system build's last Thursday. Yes, the new system works (witness this post), yes, it's rip-roaringly fast, no, I haven't played with it much, only enough to load office and set up email.

I spent almost the whole weekend in bed, vegging in front of tv. This is something I never do, but my head hurt too much to read, and I couldn't breathe enough to sleep the whole time.

I still sound like a toad, and am still congested, and grumpy, and spacey.
I have learned that Nyquil and Chai are my friends.

In an effort to cheer me up, Fuzzy bought me Season 1 of Angel on DVD, and we've replaced Season 1 of Highlander with DVD (we have the whole series on VHS). And we're on episode 17 of season 1 of Babylon 5, which means there will be a respite soon. Yay.

Tonight, Fuzzy promised me oatmeal.
Don't laugh. I LIKE oatmeal.

The Rain Stopped Too Soon

Of all weather (and by that I mean conditions other than temperate sunny days), rainstorms are my favorite. I love the ominous grey skies that come before, love the sound of rain on the roof, down the chimney, on the awning over the back porch – each of these has a distinctive pitch and tone, and the three combine to make a trio that rivals anything Satchmo or Charlie Parker could ever have come up with. Nature's jam session, and it's completely free.

Usually, I'm inspired by rain. I fill pages (well, virtual pages, these days) with fiction I never share (I have this issue with dialog. I suck at it.) Or essays that I really do mean to tweak one day. I switch from coffee to tea, during these phases, and hang around my house in my favorite baggy sweatpants that used to be black, and an equally baggy t-shirt.

Eventually, inevitably, the sun comes back. Often the return of sunshine coincides with the the end of a weekend or vacation, which means I'm forced to bottle up any creativity, and store it away for the next time I have time to indulge my whims.

This weekend, there was rain, and it was wonderful, but I feel as though the time spent shopping and putting together the New and Improved computer room was somehow wasted, because I didn't have time to dabble in writing or music, or devour the stack of novels in my bedroom.

Oh, sure, it was productive, but it wasn't enough. It's never enough.

Color me moody and grey today.
So moody, I actually did a

Goddess of the Night. Beautiful yet a strange
darkness and sadness lurk about you.

What element would you rein over? (For Girls)
brought to you by Quizilla

Maybe it was the rain

…that finally prompted us to buy the office furniture we'd been longing for since moving into this house in October, or maybe it was just that we finally had the time. As I write this, I'm sitting at my new desk, and I'm realizing just how big a sixty inch desk really is. I mean, this thing is as long as I am tall, and while my height is nothing compared to most other adults, the same length is a vast expanse of clutterable surface.

Except I've vowed not to clutter it.

In any case, I spent my morning first having my fingertips painted with nail-polish that has some cutesey name, but which reminded me of the Crayola color “orchid”…or maybe “thistle” (are those colors even in the box any more. I'll have to open the crayon box and check.) For those who are crayon-impaired, it's a sort of pinkish lavenderish color that one would normally associate with little girls in brand-new Easter hats, but the bottle was there, and Eliana was willing (I think it helped that I paid her to do it), and now my fingers are orchid. Or thistle. (Thorchid? Orchistle? Whatever.)

I spent the rest of my salon time, my precious me-time, with my feet in Eliana's lap, while I sipped “comforting tea.” As a result, I now have feet that are even happier than my fingertips, though my toes are NOT orchid. Or thistle. They are “I'm Really Not A Waitress” red. Can you tell that's an OPI color? Yeah, I thought so.

Anyway, we trekked over to Organized Living, which apparently isn't organized enough to have a functional website. Despite this, they have fabulous office furniture. I wanted to buy about $2000 worth of sleek glass and steel office accoutrements, but, since that was a bit beyond our budget for half a room, and since Fuzzy has to have his desk in here as well, that didn't happen.

(Note: I love Fuzzy very much, but he's horrible to shop for furniture with. “I don't like glass. I need to have three monitors side by side. My laptop sticks over the edge half an inch. It's not a CORNER desk.” ARGH!)

So, we compromised: I bought just the desk from the glass and steel collection. It's a really sexy desk, too. The top is frosted glass with just a hint of green, like beach glass. Then there are four cherry-wood supports, and then the rest is a soft steel. No drawers, just a keyboard tray. The rest of the pieces I bought are in cherry as well. But not that dark cherry. This is a warm blonde cherry that could easily cohabitate with pearwood or teak. Yum. Just…yum. It even makes the red walls in this room actually look like they SHOULD be red. Shocking, I know. But anyway, I've added a mobile file (which is under the far right side of the desk) and a two door cabinet, which now holds paper inside, and my printer/fax/thing and scanner on top. I plan to add another cabinet with a hutch on top, for more storage, and for art and books. Maybe in a week or so.

To tie the desk and the cherry all together, I found a rosewood-stained and silver mail sorter-thing, more like a demi-hutch, really, and a matching pencil cup. The wood softens the harshness of the steel, and, with my funky red lamp, gives a sort of retro feel to the whole space, as if when I sit here I'm propelled back in time to the jazz age, and instead of typing into a computer, I'm really jetting to Havana for martinis and dancing.

Well…one can dream.

Fuzzy's side of the room isn't finished yet. His desk isn't cherry, and should really be darker than the beech it is, but it made him happy, and I can live with it (or maybe get an artistic room-divider screen, or something), and, really, anything's better than what we had.

It's after two-thirty, and I'm tired. Pictures will be forthcoming soonish. Really. Until then, be well, everyone.

Obligatory Valentine’s Day Post

There were flowers.
And chocolate.
Both from the evil (aka He who Never Posts), who stole my keys and snuck into my office so said items would be waiting for me this morning.

And more flowers.
Irises, my favorite flower, from (aka, He Whose Hair Elastic I Forgot to Return).

There was Chinese food (we went early, to Tsing Tao. Yum!) I bame for this, because if he hadn't mentioned that his family had Chinese, it never would have occurred to me to suggest it tonight.

There was yet another trip to Organized Living, where we found out ALL the desks we like are ON SALE. We'd planned to go desk-shopping tomorrow. Desk-PURCHASING, even, which is far more entertaining than merely looking.

There was Chicago which means I was doing my best Fosse-dancer imitation in the kitchen while making tea a few minutes ago. (Btw, if you haven't seen this, do! It was everything I hoped it would be, even if they did cut some songs.) (um, I mean go see the movie. You don't need to see me bumping and grinding in my kitchen. Unless you're desperate for comedy.)

And there is home, and Tracker and tea and bonding with the dogs.

And for those of you who hate Valentine's day, here's my obligatory statement: I agree that we shouldn't need a holiday to express our feelings to our loved ones. But since it exists, it's kind of fun to have a reason to shop for cute things.

Brief update

I'm tired.
Left work at 6:30, went to look at a desk for Fuzzy, who still hasn't chosen one.
Watched Angel – interesting ending.
Took emergency asthma meds when Fuzzy pointed out that I was wheezing and complaining I was cold even though I was near the fire.
Followed a link where you can make Personalized Candy Hearts
Bed now.