All About the Onions

28 Plays Later – Challenge #5

Use the following first line:

Take off the girdle, Gertl, and tell me everything about Onun’s onions,

or else little Dicklberg here will get it with this!


Photo by Štefan Štefančík on Unsplash

All About the Onions




Aww, Shanle, I didn’t know you cared.

SHANLE joins GERTL on her side of the hull, and uses his wrench to remove a couple of lug nuts – basically, they take something that looks like a wheel out of the hatch in the side of their ship. Colored wires snake from it’s reverse side.


I think I see the problem. (beat) No. I’m wrong. All I see is mass of horpifed wiring.


(explaining patiently)

The onions became disconnected from the paving stone drive at the fourth intersection, and when contact was lost the latent energy caused a spark. If we restore the contact and secure the connection between the paving stone and the onions and then ground it with the nerf ball, we should be good to go.



How… how did you know all that? I thought Onun was the only one who truly understood how the onions functioned.

Click the link below to read the entire play.

2018-05 – All About the Onions