Tired

More than anything, I feel drained tonight. I’m not in a bad mood. I’m not grumpy or cranky or bitchy. I’m just tired.

All day long it felt like Sunday, just as yesterday felt like Saturday, Partly this is because I played at CSz on Thursday and Friday. If I’ve already been there twice in a week, it has to be Sunday, right? Even tonight, as I write this I’m checking the clock going, “Well, it IS Sunday.” And I mean, yeah, technically, it is – now – for like AN HOUR it has been. But that’s not what I meant. I don’t mean Universal Time Sunday, or Calendar Sunday, I mean FISCAL Sunday.

I slept a lot today. Til noon, almost. I needed the rest. Needed to just veg. I woke up cold and thirsty. I made cocoa, and was still cold. I blasted the heat and took a hot shower even though hot water is bad for dyed hair – I was too cold to wash my hair in tepid water, as I usually do. It wasn’t even particularly cold outside – 50-ish – cold for April, yeah, but not, you know, COLD.

Left early for CSz because by the time I was no longer cold, I’d flipped to hot, and was craving a Jamba Juice. Got to the arena around 6:30. Helped make the seating chart. Cleaned up a bit. Worked bar. I don’t like to talk about shows I’m not in, but tonight’s was a little…off. It wasn’t BAD, but it fell into that good-but-not-great category we’re trying to break out of. House was packed, and there were people shopping us for a remote, which they didn’t book. It’s easy to blow it off as “their loss,” but…there’s a part of me, the super-critical part that I try to stifle when it comes to everyone but myself…that was ticking the things that should have worked better or been tighter.

Also, I’m concerned about a fellow player. She seems drained and drawn in a way that isn’t just “really tired.”

I play again this Friday, and one of our players who’s been recovering from an injury for a while will be referee for the first time. I’m as excited about being on the same liners with him AT ALL, as I am about him being back. He’s always really nice to me, and he makes me smile just by being around.

And I’m babbling. Because I’m tired.
Sleep sounds awfully good just now.

CC BY-NC-ND 4.0 Tired by Melissa Bartell is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

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