I blew off the last two hours of work today, not because I couldn’t have found more things to do – there are always more things to do – but because by noon, both Jeremy and I had already had a day that felt a month long. By one I was fractured, and fractious, and just needed to be AWAY.

I came home, and spent about an hour just singing along with songs from Napster cranked up to the point where, if the neighbors hadn’t all been at work, like sensible, normal people generally are at three in the afternoon, they surely would have complained. Well, perhaps not quite that loud. But still, it was freeing, cathartic, to get lost in music, to remember the way resonance feels in my head, in my body. I think in melodies and lyrics, more than in text or images, and I’ve been boxing that part of myself this past month or so.

To further combat the severe Mondayness that permeated my life today (and involved a failure to visit Starbucks for my usual morning macchiato, among other things) I’ve decided to list fifty things that make me smile, in no particular order.

1) Rainy days, especially when I can hang out at home, and write.
2) The beach, in winter, or right after a large storm.
3) The beach, any other time of year.
4) Puddles, especially when no one’s watching and I can splash like the inner seven-year-old I still harbor within myself.
5) Cheesy musicals, especially the old Mickey Rooney/Judy Garland “Hey let’s put on a show” kind.
6) Horse racing.
7) Figure skating.
8) Sunflowers, and irises, and flowers in general.
9) Impressionistic art.
10) Good novels, and quiet time to read.
11) Fuzzy.
12) Zorro, especially when he play bows.
13) Cleo, especially when she’s wrinkly and tired.
14) Swimming.
15) Strong coffee.
16) Dark chocolate.
17) The smell of Clinique make-up – it’s my mother’s smell.
18) Sunshine on the wood floor of my office.
19) The smell of freshly-turned earth.
20) Stargazing.
21) Swimming.
22) Tap-dancing.
23) Singing.
24) Random *snugs* from friends I generally only see online.
25) Random hugs from friends I generally see offline.
26) Long phone calls with my aunt in Connecticut.
27) Handwritten letters.
28) Postcards, especially from places I’ve never been.
29) Smart dialogue in television shows.
30) Non-traditional casting.
31) Micro-fine roller-ball pens.
32) Crayola crayons.
33) The fortunes inside Perugina Baci chocolates.
34) Grumbacher oil pastels (the scent as well as the colors).
35) Brand-new spiral notebooks, college ruled.
36) Soft white cotton ankle socks on freshly lotioned feet.
37) Really good drawing paper, even though I can’t draw.
38) The cello.
39) Travel.
40) Coming home after a trip.
41) The moment in the middle of a hot summer night, when the heat breaks, and cool air drifts in.
42) Lightning.
43) Lady bugs.
44) Music, in general.
45) Pasta.
46) Grilled cheeseburgers.
47) Bubblebaths.
48) Clean sheets.
49) The smell of clothing dried on a line, outside.
50) Love – in pretty much any form.

1. What are the last two movies you saw?
Mona Lisa Smile on DVD and What a Girl Wants on cable.

2. What are the last two TV shows you saw?
The West Wing and, mainly because it happened to be on, and NOT because we chose to, American Idol.

3. What are the last two items you purchased?
Aside from coffee drinks? Algaecide and a lightbulb.

4. What are the last two beverages you drank?
“Cool blue” Gatorade and a generic chocolate protein drink.

5. What are the last two sites you surfed (before coming here)?
OpenDiary and LiveJournal.

Questions from Tuesday Twosome

I didn’t post anything about the weekend because I’ve been having this feeling that I should be writing real stuff, and not just “What I did on Saturday” stuff, but then I thought, is that any less real? And I realized that even if such posts are largely idle chatter, sometimes when I go back to them, they spark something else.

Translation: Even though it’s Tuesday, I’m writing a weekend wrapup post.

I’ve been in nesting mode, more often than not, this spring. Partly, this is because work is busy, and even though I generally like the people I work with, by the time I get home, I don’t want to deal with people. Especially, I don’t want to answer questions. This is why I’d never have made a good teacher; I’m impatient, and I don’t like repetition.

I’ve realized that I also don’t like it when people don’t try finding information before asking. No, this isn’t directed at anyone, and maybe it’s just a me-thing, but, it’s become a pet peeve lately, that I’m called upon to provide answers that are easily accessable. (Okay, it is directed at someone. Mom: You have highspeed net access in your home office If you need an area code or zipcode, you are just as capable of going to smartpages.com or usps.gov as I am. It is not my job to do this for you. Those sites work just as well from a computer in La Paz as they do from a computer in San Jose.)

I haven’t been to the gym in two weeks, and I can’t believe this, but I miss it. Just as I miss music, when I’m not around it, I miss having something physical to do. I’m going tomorrow morning, no matter what.

No, really.

So, anyway, the weekend. It was nice. We lazed around on Saturday, and then went to Jeremy’s concert. His group was joined by the SJ Peace Chorale, and I swear I’ve never seen a more dour group of singers outside a funeral mass. No, even in a funeral mass. I’ll accept that some music is serious, but there’s a such a thing as taking oneself too seriously, and this group was an example of that. Also, their director’s hair did not move. At all. Not even when she was conducting really wildly. This disturbed me, both because I’m certain this is a woman who doesn’t care if she uses aerosol loaded with fluorocarbons, and because it’s just not normal.

Anyway, we came home, and I changed clothes because I was cold, and then we went out for our monthly dinner with the Group. Somewhat frustratingly, for me, these group dinners coincide with the heaviest day of my monthly ‘visitor’ and I’m always overtired and a little on edge, so quieter than usual, as a result. Still, dinner was nice, conversation was fun, hey, even though I did NOT get coffee (my fault), I did get to spend time in a bookstore. This is never a bad thing.

Sunday, we slept most of the day. Well, Fuzzy slept most of the day. I left the bedroom to write, and ended up reading Harry Potter fanfic and watching cheesy movies, between naps, and then in the evening we hit Target, and the fabric store at Westgate, because my mother needed Pellon fleece and Schmetz sewing machine needles, and Beverly’s was out of the latter, and while there, I bought a quilting frame, even though I don’t quilt, because they’re great for doing large embroidery pieces.

We went to Friday’s after that, more because neither of us was in the mood to cook, and neither of us had eaten at all, and I was pleased with one of their Atkins offerings: two cheeseburgers (no bun) and a side salad, which I replaced with a side of broccoli. It satisfied my meat craving, and didn’t give me carb crash. I just wish they didn’t succumb to this paranoia that meat is only safe if it’s charred halfway to destruction.

And there we are, a quiet, completely unproductive weekend, in which I failed to write anything of interest, and accomplished nothing except managing enough laundry to provide us with fresh sheets, and clean underwear.

I think I’m feeling apathetic this week, but I’m not sure….