Surrounded by Hot Male Nurses

So, I’m lying in the ER exam bed. Actually I kept thinking I was going to be told, “you’re fine, go home,” so I was sitting, despite wearing a truly fetching green and white striped cotton gown with navy blue medallions (backless, of course), because I was, in retrospect, kind of shocky, and it didn’t register that I could, you know, lie down.

Oh, btw, yes, there are pictures.
No, you can’t see them.
But let me just say that cotton gown was even sexier than most bodystockings.
No, really.

Anyway, Dr. Holder (petite, female, cheery) came in, said, “We’re giving you two bags of fluids, and then we’ll do the CT scan, and meanwhile our radiology guy will be bringing you some really tasty lemonade and contrast solution to guzzle.”

Larry, my assigned RN – dark complected, pony tail, khaki scrubs, mild voice – did the IV honors, apologizing for hurting me – we had to use a tiny vein in my hand, and you DO NOT WANT to know how painful that was. My hand is STILL hurting.

The lab tech came and drew blood from a different vein, but with all the different needle sticks, I am pretty much mummified by adhesive bandages at this point.

Tom the CT guy brought me about a tanker full of the lemon contrast stuff. I hadn’t eaten at all, was thirsty despite the IV fluid drip, and would have killed for food or drink, so I can honestly say I didn’t mind the flavor, and the icy liquid was, at that moment, the best thing I ever tasted.

Spent two hours watching whatever was on TNT because it didn’t occur to me to ask for a remote. Was cold, so Larry toasted a blanket for me. Finally reclined in the bed, and texted Deb and Ben all morning (thanks guys) since Fuzzy was across town with Zorro getting his blood work and medicine refills.

Pain was constant but bearable til after the scan, but moving back and forth aggravated it, so I finally caved and accepted Larry’s gentle offer of pain relief just before they released me. (Vicodin on an empty stomach made me so stoned – it hit half an hour later in the drugstore, and I was completely loopy by the time we got home). They said, “we think it’s a virus, so push fluids, rest, and see your regular doc on Monday, but it’s not kidney, pregnancy or appendix, and here, have some anti-nausea drugs, and a bunch more vicodin.”

We got home around three.
I ate something warm and tasty, and took the anti-nausea meds, which helped.
I was in bed by 4.
I just woke up a few minutes ago.
I’m going to eat something else small, take more drugs, and crash again.

I still hurt, but the fluids and pain killers are helping, and at least I didn’t have to have surgery.

3 thoughts on “Surrounded by Hot Male Nurses

  1. Yikes! No way to spend a weekend!

    But at least the hospital experience wasn’t horrid…and the dark complected guy with the ponytail doesn’t sound half bad ;)

    Seriously, feel better – no more needles in the hand (I HATE that!!)

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