The dog barked at midnight.

Actually she's /still/ out there barking, and my shoulder hurts too much to deal with the door. Stupid big-lipped gallumphing cow-dog. (That would be Cleo.)

When we moved in, the previous owners, who had FIVE dogs here, one of which was a wolf-hybrid (and never mind the fact that there's an ordinance here that limits each household to two domesticated animals), said, rather cavalierly, “Oh, the neighbors are deaf, don't worry about barking.”

But I do. I really do. No matter what I try with this dog – treats for silence, noisemakers, everything – she's still The Barking Bitch of Beelzebub, and it's driving me crazy.

I've contacted Stacy to come and do some AntiBark Training with Cleo, but so far I haven't been able to figure out a good time. Soon, I hope.

Also, while the neighbors immediately to one side are elderly, and pretty hard-of-hearing, the rest of the neighbors, to my knowledge, are perfectly healthy in that respect, and they don't deserve Cleo “serenading” them by barking at trees, wind, cats or – her favorite – NOTHING.

Welcome to Zenitopia.

For the record, I'm blaming , just because.

The Grand Duchy of Zenitopia
“There's no such thing as strong coffee-only weak people”

UN Category: Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights: Average
Economy: Developing
Political Freedoms: Excellent

Location: the South Pacific
The Grand Duchy of Zenitopia is a tiny, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its burgeoning chihuahua population. Its compassionate, intelligent population of 5 million are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Social Welfare, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 27%, but much higher for the wealthy. A very small private sector is dominated by the Trout Farming industry.

Crime is relatively low. Zenitopia's national animal is the chihuahua, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the java-nut.

(Yeah, yeah, you know the drill. Go to )