Crush. Destroy. Pulverize.

Those are the words at the top of my mind right now. I try to be patient, I really do, but lately it seems I've been surrounded by incompetence.

Like the bottle-blonde bitch who represented the buyer in my real estate transaction, who pushed and pushed to close early because her buyer did a fifteen day rate-lock in this market and would lose her lock, and managed to get the lender to agree to fund and record without having section I termite items cleared. And while that doesn't really adversely affect me (I mean, okay, I'm technically renting my own condo for the next ten days or so, but that is less money than my full month's mortgage, so what do I care?), it annoys me, because SHE got her paycheck today, but the loan officer doesn't get paid unless the section I stuff is cleared. And it's unfair.

And then, to cap it all, this same woman called the title company yesterday to demand that they NOT record, so her client wouldn't have to pay interest over the weekend. (This is illegal. If you fund a loan it MUST record within 24 hours. This is why we're lucky to be in Santa Clara County were you can do 'specials' – fund and record in the same day.) Note: people who have been in the biz for 20 years should know better than to ask the escrow officer to do an illegal thing. Especially when the escrow officer has a business relationship with the seller of the property, and not with them.

But, no, that's not enough. In addition my OWN lender hasn't yet managed to do their paperwork. They've had my conditions for OVER A WEEK, and have known since DAY 1 that a review appraisal was required. So today, I had to find a review appraiser FOR THEM. Aaack. Idiots.

And then, apparently, my job has been extended to include training other people's employees, because I just spent half an hour educating a new underwriter at a lender in Santa Rosa about the concept of Deminimus PUD's (like the Stepford Houses off of Park) where there's a nominal HOA for gardening and security, but no real HOA documentation. And this same underwriter seems to think, “Um, yeah, this is D. and you should prolly leave a message” is a professional outgoing VoiceMail message, and doesn't know enough to include his extension when he leaves the phone number, knowing they don't have a human receptionist.

Whether or not you read the rant, here's the practical upshot: I'm bitchy and moody and need a lot of Vodka, and September cannot end soon enough.