I'm in rant mode, right now, and all of my ranting is in regards to the telephone. My issues with the phone are numerous, so I'll just highlight a few:

Timing. If you're calling me about a business issue, and you call my home during the day, you have no reason to expect me to be there, because, with the exception of the first 10 months of 2001, I've worked full time since 1989. Most adults, in fact, work outside the home, so it's pretty stupid that anyone tries calling home numbers.

If you insist upon calling my home number during normal work hours you are therefore obligated to leave (at the very least) your full name, your phone number even if you think I have it, what company or organization you are affiliated with, and the hours during which you are accessible. (My home voice mail message states, btw, that if I don't know who you are, and you don't tell me why you're calling me, you won't get called back.)

If you call me after normal business hours, and either leave a message, or I choose to take the call, but am unable to deal with you at that moment, you had better be available for a return call, also after business hours. If you can call me at 7:45 on a weekday evening, I should be able to call you at 8:15 that same evening.

Proper Use of VoiceMail. I don't care if you're the president of a company, a Realtor, my mother, or God, if you choose to leave a message, leave a real message. There is nothing more stupid than “Hi. I need to talk to you. Call me back.” If you simply need to impart information, then you can do that on my voice mail. If it's urgent that you know I heard it, simply ask me to call and confirm receipt. Is that so difficult? And if you need to ask a question, leave the question on my voice mail. That way, if I call you back, and get your voice mail, I can leave the answer, and we don't have to waste eighty years playing phone tag.

Basic Telephone Etiquette. If you call me, and you expect to address me by my first name, then I expect the same privilege. If you identify yourself as Mr. So-and-so, then you'd better address me as “Ms. ” And if I tell you that the time is bad, or I'm at work, or we're in a car, you'd better accept that.

And really, does anyone learn basic manners these days? Last night I answered a call at home that turned out to be a wrong number. I'd barely finished saying “Hello” and the person on the other end demanded shrilly, “Is Maria there?” (I don't even know anyone named Maria.) It wouldn't have killed the caller to respond with “Hello, I'm LoudDemandingPerson. Is Maria there?”

I know this rant is really bitchy. The truth is that I'm not a bitchy person, really, I just think that if people are going to use the telephone, they should use it correctly.

One of my morning rituals is my precisely timed trip to the local Starbucks, where I generally buy a caramel macchiato for myself, and a banana muffin for Fuzzy. This morning, since we were at the eye doctor, we went to Big Apple Bagels instead, and then I trekked across the parking lot to the mini-Starbucks that recently opened there. (Big Apple Bagels does sell coffee, but it doesn't taste good, and their espresso is too bitter.)

I've been to this Starbucks before, and found that the staff was unnaturally friendly. Disturbingly so. “Welcome to Starbucks, what can we make for you today?” the manager booms when I visit on the way back from lunch.

I thought the atmosphere might be different at 9:15 on a weekday morning, and entered bravely, expecting a line such as the ones I'm accustomed to at the cafe on my own block.

There was no line. There was a note on the door that said, “Sorry, we're out of soy,” and there were three people milling about the tight confines of the room. There were an equal number of baristas. My home Starbucks is promoting coconut mocha frapps, so I asked if this one had coconut syrup. “We don't,” they said.

“Oh, well,” I replied. “A venti caramel macchiato, then, please.”

While I was being rung up the young woman actually making the drinks called over, “I can make it taste like coconut, if you want.”

I asked how. She explained that if you combine 2 pumps of vanilla with one pump of Irish cream, it tastes like coconut. “Try it,” she suggested. “We won't charge for the extra syrup.”

So, feeling slightly adventurous, I agreed to try the results of her cafe chemistry.

She was right. The combination of flavors not only tastes like coconut, it smells like coconut.

My friends, I introduce to you, the Coconut Mock-iato.

P.S. For those of you following my LASIK journey. 's LJ has been updated with the results of today's follow-up.

Someone on Open Diary started this 6 Degrees-ish game where you start with one of the folks on your friends list, and follow links from the people they get notes from. So I thought I'd do that here. Should anyone else choose to play, here are the rules:

1) The first link in your chain must be someone on your friends list.
2) You choose one of their commenters, and read a few of their entries. Leave a note.
3) Select a commenter from that person, and repeat.
4) List the links and any observations of, say, whether you seem to share interests or if there are other commenters whom you recognize, in an entry in your LJ.
5) Don't judge. The idea is to explore the folks read by the folks you read.
6) Avoid following links to people who are already on YOUR friends list.
7) Number of links should be between six and ten.

1) Since I began with on OD, I chose not to begin with her here. Instead, I chose because he's one of the people I read frequently who I'd really like to know better.

2) From there, I visited because this was the only person in the most recent set of comments whom I didn't recognize.

3) . Because of this LJ user, I now know that there's an Edward Gorey community on LJ. Cool.

4) is a name I've seen on several friends lists, but this is the first time I've ever really read any of her stuff. Glad I did.

5) was the next stop. Another person born in '76…I seem to be finding a lot of people who were born in that year, lately.

6) . Yet another person listing Cake among things they listen to. I feel so deprived now, because I've only ever heard /one/ Cake song.

7) . Another person who refers to LKH's Merry Gentry series as 'faerie porn'.

And on that note, since it's bedtime, I've declared my trek over. I've noticed that while OD tends to be more dominated by women, LJ is more equally represented, though average posts are shorter, which is something I always knew anyway.

…I complained to Fuzzy as the Levitz guys finished assembling our new bedroom set. I think this is because there's no footboard, and because there are semi-circular depressions instead of actual drawer pulls.

And the lights in the light bridge are too bright.

And we had to switch sides, because the new dresser has a mirror, and after having mirror-less dressers for seven years, I wanted the mirror to remain attached.

Okay, this reasoning is rather convoluted.

Anyway, I'd prefer it if the wood didn't smell like, well, wood. It's already given me a headache, on top of the headache I woke up with. I napped for four hours after my shower, and then we finally left the house, but all I really want to do is stay home tomorrow and rest.

Zorro seems to be stable, finally, he was still seizing this morning, after /three/ doses of valium. Poor doggy. Now he's just exhausted.

Cleo's still sick…we've put her on a fast til tomorrow morning. She doesn't seem to care, and I'm wondering if her recent 'accidents' are really manifestations of separation anxiety and lonliness.

And I'm craving egg products: Egg salad, fried egg sandwiches…devilled eggs. And I feel totally dehydrated. Argh.

Quite obviously, I've thrown coherence out the window so I'm ending this now.

That's what our little veterinary excursion cost. Have I mentioned that I love Lincoln Avenue Veterinary Clinic? They're small, and staffed almost exclusively by women, and so /nice/. Cleo tries to eat fingers when we bring her there, and, yes Dr. Compton did write WILL BITE in large glowing letters on the front of her file, but she only snaps, never touches actual skin. And the others just think she's cute and feisty.

Zorro, on the other hand, is a gem at the vet. He just lets them poke and prod and palpitate, with no complaints. He won't even eat the treats they offer, just gives a slight wag of the tip of his tail and then asks to go home.

Even today, post-ictal and punky, he was laid back and calm. He lucked out with the thermometer – they used the in-the-ear one – and I was pleased that they didn't lecture about us not using pheno any more. Well, it doesn't help him at all and it causes liver damage after prolonged use.

So, we came home with 2 cc's of valium and 4 syringes, and so far we've used 0.5 cc's of the stuff, because he had a seizure right when I logged onto the net. And now that he's been dosed, I'm gonna go take a nap, so that later tonight when I have to move furniture, my brain and body will function.

New bed at nine am. WOOHOO!

, , and are responsible for this.

From: http://miva.zodiacal.com/acro.mv

Melissa:
You want to be productive and feel useful, and enjoy helping solve problems. You like to be busy and not waste time. You can be quite inventive and quite curious. You have a diplomatic flair to your nature. Equality and fairness are important to you. You are relatively demonstrative in your affections. You enjoy being stroked verbally and physically. You try to be prudent. You have good business acumen. You have a need to earn money to prove your success to society and must learn the true value of material gains and status. You have much enthusiasm with a driving attitude toward achievement in life.

Annette:
You have much enthusiasm with a driving attitude toward achievement in life. You can handle details well. You have a methodical mind. You must learn to give 'wise' service and not be a martyr. You need to learn to be expressive. You are a person who cannot tolerate being misunderstood. Your privacy is important to you. You have a rich inner life. You need to learn faith in place of fear. You need to learn to be expressive. You are a person who cannot tolerate being misunderstood.

Klindienst:
You have good recuperative abilities and strong mental determination. You are very private and dislike others prying into your affairs. You must learn the lessons of self-worth; learn to love yourself before you can love others. You need to learn to give and receive love for love's sake. You have a need to be assured of affection. You must learn to give 'wise' service and not be a martyr. You have a discriminating nature coupled with perseverance and family pride. You need to learn to give and receive love for love's sake. You have a need to be assured of affection. You need to learn to be expressive. You are a person who cannot tolerate being misunderstood. You must learn to give 'wise' service and not be a martyr. You have a need to earn money to prove your success to society and must learn the true value of material gains and status. You need to learn faith in place of fear.

Bartell:
You have a tendency to resist change. Don't miss opportunities for growth. You have a love of creature comforts, but must learn to handle money. You have much enthusiasm with a driving attitude toward achievement in life. You enjoy a challenge. You can take thought-directed actions. Your privacy is important to you. You have a rich inner life. You can be quite inventive and quite curious. You have a diplomatic flair to your nature. Equality and fairness are important to you. You must learn the lessons of self-worth; learn to love yourself before you can love others.

They don't have an icon that compbines all three. *Le Sigh*

Tired:
Went to bed at one am, which isn't all that unusual, except that I forgot that Fuzzy needed to be up early this morning. And then at two Zorro had a seizure. Icky. No one should have to change their sheets at two AM because of a dog. Or really, because of anything.

Grumpy:
Cleo's sick, and is demonstrating this by living puddles of doggie stuff all over the carpet. Our carpet, btw, is the color of beach sand, and therefore /everything/ shows. Zorro's in seizure mode. I didn't buy enough caffeine this morning. Two hours less sleep and I only have /one/ macchiato. Unfair!

Worried:
Every time Zorro starts a seizure cycle I worry that he'll injure himself, or that he'll go into status, and not come out. And I worry that we should consider putting him down, except that this is a bad 36 hours or so out of six-to-eight weeks of normalcy.

*sigh*

I hate Fridays. Bad things always happen on Fridays.

So….are we playing tomorrow? If so, are we playing at Casa de Telgar, or somewhere else? And what can we bring?

But maybe if I take a leaf from , that will help. I had to decline a loan for a couple who are Russian immigrants. He's working two jobs while she's pregnant, but because of guidelines I can't count his income from the second job – not enough history -. I'm sending it to the underwriters anyway, despite knowing they'll decline it, because without a formal notice of denial, termination, or change, the borrowers can't get their deposit back.

In any case, Nimiriel has been posting lists of seven things she's thankful for, and I'm blatantly stealing her concept, in the hopes that focussing on the good will help me get through the rest of this day.

1) The new bed is being delivered on Saturday. I still am not sure how we'll rearrange the bedroom, but I love such challenges. (Btw, anyone know anyone who wants to buy a black wrought iron queen-sized 4 poster bed frame, and a matching dresser and two nightstands, or a piano (spinet)?)

2) I have new stuff to read waiting for me at home. Fresh books are always something to look forward to.

3) I've figured out the perfect place to put the potted rose bush that needs to be transplanted. I have to rip out the Japanese maple to do it, but I really don't like the Japanese maple anyway.

4) There are purple pansies greeting me every time I walk in my front door. Yay flower bowls!

5) My eyes do feel better with the plugs in. I'm needing the drops less, at any rate.

6) It's grey and moody outside, and I love grey moody days.

7) I have some really patient friends who put up with me, even when I'm being bitchy and reclusive. Thanks, all of you.

One of my favorite diarists on Open Diary, Princess Ella (no link, because her diary is locked to non-ODers) has this knack of recommending books that are exactly the kind of reading material I need at any given moment. I think this has a lot to do with the fact that she's a violist, and therefore amazingly cool. Or maybe we just have similar taste in books. After all, she knew The Eight, and most people don't.

In any case, I just finished The Red Tent, which kept me enthralled the whole time I read it. It's the story of Dinah, daughter of Jacob, and is told in first person. And it's not all Biblical or anything, either. One of the reviews on the back cover says something to the effect that if the Bible had been written by women, it would seem like this, and I have to agree.

The author of that book, Anita Diamant, also wrote Good Harbor which was among my stack of books over the last week as well. It's set in a small coastal village in Massachusetts, and takes place in modern times, and I quite enjoyed it, but the other was much better.

I'm now half-way through Blackberry Wine by Joanne Harris, who wrote Chocolat. Princess Ella actually recommended another of her works, but both of my trips to B&N were fruitless, and this title intrigued me.

Waiting at the bottom of the stack is the final P.E. recommendation, Stones from the River, by Ursula Hegi. It's been a while since I've read so much non-fantasy, and I'm enjoying the time just drowning in the written word.

Thanks, Princess, for a great week of reading!