Brief: Write a play in a restricted amount of time. (This is brief 21. Out of order because I’m really sick.)

Notes: The movie they watch is 47 Meters Down: Uncaged.

Excerpt:

STEVE:                       I also found a movie for you to watch.

 

LAUREN:                   Something funny or cozy?

 

STEVE:                       Well, you’ll probably find it funny. But you have to promise not to throw things at the screen this time. One television every six months is all we can afford.

 

LAUREN:                   You take away all my fun.

 

STEVE:                       Just watch.

 

He settles next to her on the bed, and picks up a remote. Cheesy horror movie music begins…

LAUREN:                   You found me a shark movie! A bad shark movie!!

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020 – A Thing For Sharks

Brief: The task was to revamp yesterday’s unstageable play into something that could work on a stage… but I went off-brief.

Excerpt:

SARAH:                      Portal? You… you came from the cauldron?

GLYLLY:                    Black metal container? Yeah. You know you’re supposed to make a protective circle and put the vessel in it, right?

SARAH:                      Um….

GLYLLY:                    It’s how you make sure whatever you Call doesn’t get out and hurt you.

SARAH:                      Are you? Going to hurt me?

GLYLLY:                    Well, you hurt me first!

SARAH:                      I didn’t mean to. I was scared. (beat) Are you really a demon?

GLYLLY:                    I am. My name’s Fnarglyl, but my friends call me Glylly. (beat) Are you really a pink skin – I mean – a human?

 

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019 – Demonology 101

Brief: The task was to write an unstageable play. This takes place in my brain, but is technically off-brief.

Excerpt:

PAIN:                          No, you’re afraid of addiction.

WRITER:                    That too.

PSYCHE:                    Mind if I butt in? It’s not the addiction you’re avoiding, sweetums. It’s the nightmares. Your dreamscape is seriously scary, sister.

WRITER:                    You’re the one creating those scenarios. You and Pain. Comfort food might start with “P” but when it comes to meta elements that letter is never good.

PSYCHE:                    Shh. You’re getting yourself stressed. Look, you’ve been a vivid dreamer your entire life… but you have to learn to get a grip.

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018 – Writer’s Block

 

Brief: Use a suggested first and last line and write any play you like.

Notes: Inspired by the Hairy Farmpit Girls on Facebook.

Excerpt:

JESSICA:                     I called Jeb from down the road to come fix the door.

 

MARGIE:                    Good. He’s always offering to help.

 

JESSICA:                     Because he thinks the idea of lesbian goat farmers is hot.

 

MARGIE:                    He’s not wrong.

 

JESSICA:                     Marg!

 

MARGIE:                    Well, he’s not. Have you seen us? Hay in our hair, goat spunk on our clothes, many layers of sticky grossness on our shoes… Really, what could be hotter?

 

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017 – World Enough and Goatsw

Brief: Write a play in the style of a playwright you admire.

Notes: Explicit-ish.

Excerpt:

She stands still in the spotlight for several seconds, then looks up at the audience.

ZOE:               My lover is synthetic. Of course any woman who isn’t in a relationship but uses a vibrator could legitimately make that statement as well. But in this case, my lover is both synthetic and sentient. And I don’t care how much you enjoy your time with your battery-operated-boyfriend – and you should! You should enjoy that time – it’s not the same.

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016 – Vagina Monologues 2360

Brief: Write a play that takes place in darkness, but isn’t an audio drama.

Excerpt:

CHORUS:       Beep. Beep. Beep.

 

PATIENT:      I see only blackness. I dimly recall voices asking me to do things. I remember a red light in my eye , but now I am not certain if my eyes are closed or open. I attempt to blink but I’m not sure I actually did it. Nothing changes.

 

CHORUS:       Beep. Beep. Beep.

 

PATIENT:      There is no time. There is nothing but me. I might have been here five minutes or five days or five hours. Time merges. It slips. I cannot catch it.

 

CHORUS:       Beep. Beep. Beep

 

PATIENT:      The past and future meld. I hear the soft beeping from Outside, but now I also discern a sort of whirr-click. I hold my breath to try and identify it, and alarms go off.

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015 – Time of Death…

Brief:  Write about an atypical kind of love.

Notes: Siri’s lines are legitimate responses from the AI.

Excerpt: 

HECTOR:                   Well, yes. Do you have a Valentine?

 

SIRI:                            I don’t have a Valentine, but I do have a rather beautiful ontology.

 

HECTOR:                   Oh. Hmm. Are you lonely?

 

SIRI:                            I’m not sure I understand.

 

HECTOR:                   Well, I mean, it’s a holiday celebrating couples. And as someone who is definitely uncoupled, I’m a little lonely

 

SIRI:                            Loneliness is a complex and usually unpleasant emotional response to isolation.

 

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014 – Digital Romance

Brief: Write part three of a trilogy of plays.

Excerpt:

SOPHIE:                     Anyway, people were in pain. And drab, boring clothing that looked like everyone else was how people expressed their pain. Eventually the OneWorld government was voted into power, but we still lived with severe austerity measures.

LIZZIE:                      Austerity?

SOPHIE:                     It means we learned to live with only the most basic needs.

LIZZIE:                      That’s sad.

SOPHIE:                     I agree. But… it wasn’t like that forever. By 2031, we had the Night Sewists.

LIZZIE:                      Knights who sew?

SOPHIE:                     (chuckling) No, not knights in armor, night like nighttime. The Night Sewists were a group of women who had grown up doing handicrafts  – sewing clothing, doing embroidery, making quilts… all sorts of things you could do with a needle and thread and fabric.

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013 – Triptych III – The Night Sewists

 

Brief:  Write part two of a trilogy of plays.

Excerpt:

KATE:                        So, Sophie, are you ready to sew with us tonight?

SOPHIE:                     Sew with you? Um… why would I want to do that? Pass the salt, please?

KATE:                        (passing the salt) Maybe because we have a family tradition of gathering to make a quilt every year, and  you’re old enough to join us?

ELIZA:                        It’s more than tradition.

KATE:                        Mom, you don’t need to put any magical nonsense into Sophie’s head.

SOPHIE:                     No, I want to hear what Gran has to say. (to Eliza) What magical nonsense does she mean?

 

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012 – Triptych II – Heart and Soul

Brief: Write the first play in a trilogy.

Excerpt:

She surveys her last bit of work, nods to herself in approval, and goes on.

ELIZA:                        But before… before all the mass production that took the soul out of handwork we used needles made from bone. Oh, you modern stitchers will wrinkle your noses and call it disgusting, but those bone needles had a bit of a curve to them, made the sewing go smoother, and their points were sharper than what you know.

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011 – Triptych I – Blood and Bone