Greetings, MerFriends. This is Professor Darya Aban from Atlantis University, curator of the Aquatopia Amphigory of Lost Creatures. It’s the Dog Days of Podcasting — the annual challenge where podcasting personalities from land and sea attempt to post an episode a day during the month of August. You landwalkers call our mostly aquatic planet Earth. Your record-keeping is similarly questionable. Therefore I bring you this lecture series, introducing you to some of Aquatopia’s more notable creations.
Tonight’s two coastal species have inspired very different reputations. One has spent centuries being mistaken for a monster, while the other has earned its reputation entirely on merit.
D — Driftneck (Diplodelphinia marina)
The Driftneck is a massive marine herbivore whose long neck accounts for a disproportionate number of sea-serpent sightings. It browses kelp beds in warm coastal waters, often leaving only its head and neck visible above the surface. Adults travel in small family groups and communicate in low calls that carry for miles underwater.
Despite their size, Driftnecks are remarkably graceful swimmers and generally indifferent to boats. Juveniles are more curious and have been known to investigate buoys, docks, and floating debris. Boaters who find a Driftneck stretched across a channel are advised to wait rather than approach. The animal will move eventually, and it was almost certainly there first.
The Driftneck is difficult to overlook. The Eavenspike is considerably easier to miss, at least until something valuable disappears.
E — Eavenspike (Echidnoptera alarus)
The Eavenspike is a small nocturnal monotreme distinguished by folding, quill-lined wings and an unfortunate preference for fish roe. It nests beneath eaves and in coastal cliff crevices, laying a single egg carried in a temporary pouch. At dusk, it hunts insects along the shoreline and raids exposed fish nests.
Eavenspikes are particularly troublesome around sturgeon farms, where ordinary deterrents have proved ineffective. Given a choice among several kinds of roe, they reliably select the most expensive. Researchers have attempted to substitute cheaper varieties, but the Eavenspikes appear perfectly capable of telling the difference and deeply unwilling to compromise.
Ignorance drowns. Wisdom swims. Remember to check out the megafeed at DogDaysOfPodcasting.com to hear everyone participating and visit BathtubMermaid.com to listen to this episode. Keep swimming and resist. Class Dismissed.