Edison wasn’t the first, you know. He wasn’t even the third. Scientists had been experimenting with incandescent bulbs for nearly a century before old Tom hit on tungsten.
But he had Help.
No, I don’t mean he had human helpers; I mean he had Help. From us.
We’re not exactly faeries, though we’re not exactly NOT faeries, either. Obviously, we Work with technology. We’re metalworkers and electricians and we don’t have the issue with iron that our brothers and sisters have.
And honestly, we were happy to Help. After all, humans have an inherent fear of dark corners and shadowy places. Fearful humans are DANGEROUS humans. So, helping you lot to have control over light and dark, even with limitations, wasn’t just a kindness.
It was an act of enlightened self-interest.
(Yeah, I went there.)
Here’s the thing though. You all got cocky. You didn’t stop at soft white, or even soft pink. You decided that your control of the light had to be more efficient.
First came those gods-forsaken compact fluorescent tubes that spiraled around to imitate the shape of a proper bulb.
They last a thousand times longer, you said, patting yourselves on the back.
But they also HUM. Most of you can’t hear it, but We Can, and it messes with our navigation, warps our flight paths, and makes our whole beings vibrate to the wrong frequency.
Those efficient not-bulbs are oh-so-efficiently killing us!
Then there were the LEDs. Okay, they don’t hum. But there’s something off about the light they produce. It has no heat, no substance. It’s like an echo of light rather than light itself.
We shiver when we’re near an LED. Ever seen a faerie or pixie shuddering uncontrollably? Trust me, it’s not pretty.
So, this is a message to you. We’re pissed. And we’re taking back the light. One bulb at a time.
One giant bulb at a fucking time.